Lullabies and Broken Spirits
by Panda0990
Summary: Edward is the only gay kid in his town and because of this, nothing but hate is thrown his way. His school mates pick on him, his mother doesn't want him, and he feels isolated. The only thing keeping him together is his boyfriend Matt, but can he make it? One-shot.


**A/N: Hey guys, I was just in a writing mood and felt like putting out a short story, just for the heck of it. This is a song-fic and if you don't know the song…PLEASE look it up! **

**I do not own Twilight, nor do I own the song "Same Love (feat. Mary Lambert)" by Ryan Lewis and Macklemore.**

**Enjoy!**

_One: Lullabies and Broken Spirits_

_**When I was in 3**__**rd**__** grade I thought I was gay**_

'_**Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight**_

_**I told my mom, tears rushing down my face**_

_**She's like "Ben you've loved girls since before pre-k, trippin'"**_

_**Yeah I guess she had a point, didn't she?**_

Edward kept his head down as he walked through the school halls. Constantly he was teased for being a "fag" and he hated it. He had gone through many steps to prevent his fellow class mates from finding out. His boyfriend was a college student, they went out of town for dates, he even asked his best friend Bella to be his fake girlfriend; yet people still found out about them.

_**A bunch of stereotypes all in my head**_

_**I remember doing the math like **_

"_**Yeah, I'm good at little league"**_

_**A pre-conceived idea of what it all meant**_

_**For those who like the same sex had the characteristics**_

Everyday was a constant struggle for the young Cullen. Go figure, right? Growing up in a small town and being the only gay kid, of _course_ he'd be the perfect guy to pick on. His own family kept their distance and his old basketball team mates shunned him. They pushed him around, stole his clothes when he went to change for practice. They even bullied him online. The only friend he had now was Bella, and that could get…lonely. He went from being number one, to the perfect target.

_**The right-wing conservatives think it's a decision**_

_**And you can be cured with some treatment and religion**_

_**Man-made, rewiring of a pre-disposition**_

_**Playing God**_

_**Ahh nah, here we go**_

_**America the brave still fears what we don't know**_

_**And God loves all his children **_

_**It's somehow forgotten**_

_**But we paraphrase a book written 3,500 hundred years ago**_

_**I don't know**_

When Edward turned the corner, he was grabbed by the collar of his shirt. It was Brian his team captain followed by four other guys. Brian stood there awkwardly as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Listen…Edward I think you should quit the team." Edward widened his eyes in shock. He had known Brian since 6th grade! They'd both joined their first Basketball team together and he _knew_ how much it meant to him!

Basketball was Edward's life. It was his passion, the thing he loved the most and now what? They were kicking him off because he was gay? His other team mates were there standing slightly behind their captain glaring at Edward. He wasn't as close with them and apparently they'd like to keep it that way.

"I don't think so. Brian you know the scout is coming to see me tomorrow, there's no way in hell I'm quitting now."

Brian looked away guiltily "The rest of the team has come to me with some…_concerns_. They say they don't feel comfortable around you. Maybe if you could just…_not_ be gay they'd change their minds?"

_**And I can't change **_

_**Even if I tried, even if I wanted to**_

_**And I can't change **_

_**Even if I tried, even if I wanted to**_

_**My love, my love, my love**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

Edward didn't know what to say. Was Brian stupid? Apparently so. He wasn't a light switch he couldn't just _turn it off_. He was gay, but it wasn't like he was obnoxious about it! It wasn't like he suddenly spoke with a lisp all of a sudden and wore eye-liner. He was a regular guy; he was just interested in different things.

"I don't think so." Edward rolled his eyes at their ignorance.

"Edward…stop seeing your, um…_him_ and you can stay on the team. And change in the stalls dude, please?"

"I'll change in the stalls but I won't break up with Matt. We've been together for almost a year, you're dreaming."

Brian sighed as he looked at his old friend sadly. "I didn't want to resort to this, but the guy's said either you quit the team or they'll make you."

"What does that even-" Edward was cut off by a punch to the face, followed by another, as the remaining four rushed him. They tackled him to the ground as they inserted pain with their words and brutal strength.

Brian just watched.

_**If I was gay I would think hip-hop hates me**_

_**Have you read the Youtube comments lately? **_

"_**Man that's gay" gets dropped on the daily**_

_**We've become so numb to what we're saying **_

_**Our culture founded from oppression **_

_**Yeah, we don't have acceptance for 'em**_

_**Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board**_

When Brian was convinced Edward could take no more he made the other four stop. He looked down at Edward who was bleeding profusely. Water had formed in his eyes as he clutched his chest tightly, taking shallow breaths.

"Think about it" Brian then walked out not at all knowing that Edward had a few broken ribs, a broken arm, and had had enough head trauma to cause a concussion.

Edward cussed them out in his head as he tried to breathe. They had just ruined his chances of ever playing in college basketball.

_**A word routed in hate, yet our genre still ignores it**_

_**Gay is synonymous with the lesser**_

_**It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion,**_

_**Gender, to skin color, to the complexion of your pigment**_

_**The same fight that led people to walk-outs and sit-ins**_

_**It's the human rights for everybody**_

_**There is no difference**_

_**Live on! And be yourself!**_

Over the next few days Edward walked the halls with a bruised face and a cast on his arm. Some of the students gave him sympathetic looks, but said nothing. Others sneered at him thinking he deserved it. Many students were homophobic apparently.

The scout was disappointed to hear he had to quit the season due to injury, but what else could he do? He told his Dad he fell. Carlisle chose to believe him, not wanting to hear the truth.

His mom was the worst out of the bunch as she avoided her youngest son like the plague. She was a church-going woman and feared what her neighbors and friends would think. She knew that her son wouldn't be allowed into heaven if he continued with his little…_stage_. But what could she do? She couldn't sleep peacefully as she had once been able to. Her son was going to hell and there was nothing she could do.

As for Matt, he was furious. The blonde-haired man with ocean blue eyes was a good amount taller than his boyfriend, not to mention more muscular in form. They were two years apart, but it seemed Edward was the more serious out of the pair.

The day Edward was finally able to meet Matt; he hugged the older man to him like his life depended on it. He spent the night at his apartment and cried into his wide chest letting out all of the stress, all of the pain, all of the betrayal he had been feeling. He never let his guard down around _anyone_, not even Bella. But Matt was different. He was his rock in a world of hurt.

_**When I was in church, they taught me something else**_

_**If you preach hate at the service**_

_**Those words aren't anointed**_

_**And the holy water that you soak in is now poisoned**_

The rest of the months that followed were…well horrible. His mother made him go to church around the clock. She made him go to therapy. He was hardly ever allowed to leave the house and when he was, she would follow. Not able to handle her any longer Edward left in the middle of the night before anyone was the wiser.

He left to Matt's place catching him off guard. They exchanged few words as they embraced and eventually made love. Edward knew he should go back. He knew he should tell his mother where he was, but he didn't want to, and Matt wasn't pushing him to. His family continued to call his cell phone around the clock, but he never answered.

Esme called the police, but how could they trace her son if he paid for everything? He had been working after school five days a week since he was fife-teen and he was now eighteen, only a few months away from graduating.

After missing three days of school Edward decided he didn't want to be a High School drop out, so he returned to Forks. His siblings bombarded him with questions, but he ignored them. He was here for school, nothing more.

_**When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless**_

_**Rather than fighting for humans that have their rights stolen**_

_**I might not be the same**_

_**But that's not important**_

_**No freedom 'til we're equal**_

_**Damn right I support it**_

_**I don't know**_

Word had spread throughout Forks that Edward had returned home. His mother was frantic as she tried to put him back on the leash he had once been on, but Edward wasn't having it. He was tired of being stepped on. When someone called him a fag he ignored them, their words may as well have fallen on deaf ears.

He never visited home, instead Matt asked him to move in. When people in the halls pushed him into lockers and such, he wouldn't put up with it. Like last Wednesday Luke a hot-headed jock pushed him into a wall.

Edward had frowned and yelled out "No Luke I will _not _go out with you. I know you want me, but for the last time I'm taken!"

His statement had turned quite a few heads and out of embarrassment Luke released the smirking Cullen, allowing him to walk away without a scratch on his body.

Things were looking up for Edward, but he didn't know what he would have done without Matt there to constantly remind him that everything was going to be okay. He loved Matt more than anyone in the world and Matt felt the same. Edward just hoped they'd make it after he graduated.

_**And I can't change **_

_**Even if I tried, even if I wanted to**_

_**My love, my love, my love**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

Edward's graduation wasn't a happy one. Why? His boyfriend never showed up for the ceremony. No. How could he if he was dead? Edward had cried his heart out as gut-wrenching pain crippled him and he found he was unable to hold himself together. His heart had shattered the day Matt had died and no one could pick up the pieces.

Bella tried to comfort him as best she could, but he didn't want her touch.

He wanted Matt's strong arms wrapping around him telling him it would be okay. Edward felt responsible for his love's death. Matt's car never would have crashed if he wasn't on his way to see Edward graduate.

It was his fault. He had killed the only person he had ever loved.

_**We press play **_

_**Don't press pause**_

_**Progress, march on!**_

_**With a veil over our eyes **_

_**We turn our back on the cause**_

'_**Till the day that my uncles can be united by law**_

_**Their kids are walking around the hallway **_

_**Plagued by pain in their heart**_

_**A world so hateful, some would rather die than be who they are**_

During the course of dealing with his boyfriend's death, Edward was swallowed by depression. His mother wasn't even sympathetic! She claimed it was God's way of punishing them both for what they had done.

But what had they done that was so horrible? Nothing. But Edward never saw it that way. He hated himself, and he hated being gay. He found that the very act of _living _was becoming more difficult with each passing day. Every time he saw his reflection, he was disgusted with himself.

He didn't deserve to live and obviously no one wanted him there so what was the point?

Feeling hopeless and unwanted, Edward found his Dad's gun when no one was home. He took the gun and held it to the side of his head, and with shaky hands kept it in place. His lips trembled and he let out a sound of anguish as he crumpled to the ground.

He was hesitating in the suicidal act, and he tried to man up and just _do it_, but could he?

Matt's face flashed before his eyes and he wondered if he would be there when he died, or was he going to hell like his mother predicted?

_**And a certificate of paper isn't going to solve it all**_

_**But it's a damn good place to start**_

_**No law's gonna change us**_

_**We have to change us**_

_**Whatever God you believe in, we came from the same one**_

_**Strip away the fear**_

_**Underneath it's all the same love**_

_**About time that we raise up**_

Tears streamed down the youngest Cullen's face as he tried to get a grip. He didn't want to live like this, constantly experiencing hate everywhere he turned. He didn't want to see those judgmental eyes gawking at him like he was some sort of alien. He wanted Matt, he wanted love, but he wasn't going to get that here.

Maybe if he ended it all now Matt would still forgive him when he finally joined him. Even if he did end up leaving this town there would still be those who would rather he be dead than gay, just because it was against what they believed was right. Why did people even care? What he did in the bedroom was _his _business! No one else's.

If Matt were here he would tell him to tough it out, but he just didn't have the strength anymore. Why should he fight when there was nothing _to _fight for? Even if he found someone else that he loved, it's not like they could ever be married.

_**And I can't change **_

_**Even if I tried, even if I wanted to**_

_**And I can't change**_

_**Even if I tried, even if I wanted to**_

_**My love, my love, my love**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

_**She keeps me warm**_

Making up his mind Edward pulled the trigger and was killed instantly.

Why live in a world where-not even his own mother- accepted him?

_**Love is patient, love it kind**_

_**Love is patient **_

_**Love is kind (I'm not crying on Sundays)**_

_**Love is patient (I'm not crying on Sundays)**_

_**Love is kind (I'm not crying on Sundays)**_

_**Love is patient, love is kind**_

**A/N: Thanks for reading. **


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